Living Without HepC

I am eyeing the comments made about the post I did yesterday - and am tempted to write more about that now. But I’m aware I haven’t commented on ‘treatment’ over the last week so I will focus on that.

On Monday I did injection #24 - which means half done and half to go. And is the glass half empty or half full, I ask myself.

Mynurse rang me to see how I was, ostensibly because it is the half way mark but I suspect also because of my posting last week. It felt really supportive that she did this. After a bit of banter and joking which I always enjoy with her, I think she was reassured I am back on form. I feel like I am.

There wasn’t any crisis last week - just a realisation that I was getting a bit wobbly. The signs and signals were there - increasing irritability, dubious judgement on a couple of things and giving myself a hard time about things I thought I ‘ought’ or ’should’ be doing. The latter practice of giving myself a hard time inevitably led to me feeling negative and badly about myself (for failing all the things I ‘ought’ to be doing). I think if I hadn’t stopped, taken stock and shifted gears I might well have spun off into a real wobbly - but I didn’t!

And – isn’t ‘stopping, taking stock and shifting gears’ a process alot of us do with our daily living all the time? Yes, it was focused on treatment but, for me, it’s another life skill I am consolidating. Another example of a change because of HepC but one that is for life and living generally. Filed under the heading ‘How HepC Has Changed My Life’.

Nothing new to report in the way of blood tests or anything – or even new symptoms. I just have the same old ones, which I have (more or less) got used to living within. I continue to have what I call Liver spots erupt in various places (neck, chest, arms) – and which I have written about previously. I cannot say I am particularly bothered about them or by them but I guess saying so is scraping the barrel for symptoms to report on!

At this half-way stage, I am reminded what Tink said recently about her first injection – which reverberated for me about my own experience of shot #1. She wrote about feeling slightly fraudulent as she didn’t have any side-effects.

I guess I am feeling slightly that way at this half-way stage. I am aware that more and more people are reading this blog to see what life is like living with HepC and being on the treatment – and I can’t produce much in the way of exciting or terrifying news! However, that is the ‘half empty’ view of treatment at this point. The ‘half-full’ view is that I am living within the limitations produced by the meds and if I listen to what my body is telling me and what the feedback from others is saying, I can adjust and maintain an equilibrium on this treatment – and keep living life day-to-day. The treatment is ‘do-able’ and I am doing it.

Looking at the clock I see it’s time to get ready and go off to start my work day – and work week! Gotta go!

This entry was posted on Wednesday, April 20th, 2005 at 3:15 pm and is filed under Journal. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.