Already Thinking About What Bills To Pay Off First
It has been a stimulating and busy week. I did want change – and I’ve got it. I won’t say a lot about the work, as this is a blog about HepC, except that I can understand why the organisation needs help and has imported a team of experienced professionals to get things back on course.
What has been very interesting for me is to start a venture where no one has any idea about my HepC status or that I have been ill – that’s irrelevant to my being there, of course. It reminds me of living in the world of ‘muggles’. (Hey, ‘heppers’ being like ‘wizards’ – there’s a metaphor to ponder.)
Of course HepC has been a big part of my life over the past few years and I’ve made everyone around me aware of it (including total strangers at Media Conferences, etc). In making this change I felt aware of feeling very vulnerable – HepC is no longer an explicit part of my identity and suddenly I’m back in the hustle and bustle of the consultancy work world again (away from my safe haven of the counselling job). And feeling very rusty about the policies and legislation relevant to the work of the organisation – as it it’s been three years or so since I last used all this information.
It’s a bit odd to have people regard me as just ordinary again – not an ill person or someone living with a disease or one of those people in the Face-It campaign exhibition. It’s made me realise that I have this notion that work colleagues and fellow professionals will think I’m weak or ‘not up to it’ if I have an illness. Not sure whether that comes from the work culture I operate in or belongs more to me personally. I’ll reflect further on that some time.
I’m not particularly planning to keep my recent journey through illness a secret – it’s just not relevant at the moment to talk about it. I did feel I was walking around with an alter-ego though. Several times I did think - do a Google on my name and up comes My ‘Hepatitis C’ Weblog and the Forum, and a completely different persona than the one people are encountering in person this week – ‘dark suit and tie professional’.
I can see staying in a hotel will become tedious fairly quickly and looking for a flat to rent is going to be an additional job to do on the top of the one I already have. So change and more change.
Overall the week went really well and I am happy I haven’t felt symptoms or illness to distract from getting on with life. And I’m already thinking about what bills to pay off first.
May 17th, 2006 at 9:42 pm
Hi Ron
Wow, a LOT of change! Having not been keeping up with the blogs as often as I’d like, I can really see a difference in how you’re feeling and what you’re doing, compared to the last time I checked in with you! You sound like you’re revving up and getting ready to go! Hotel rooms? Flats? What’s going on?! All very different from the safety and quietness of home, birds in the garden, part-time counselling in the evening… I can only imagine that you’re feeling ready to do something that takes you out there.
I’m so glad to hear you doing so well.
Take care
Lu
May 20th, 2006 at 7:42 am
Just wanted to wish you congratulations on your success. May 16, I celeebrated my 8th year of being CURED. Yes, I dare to use the “C” word. I was diagnosed with HCV in 1995 and the only tx available was mono-interferon. To make a long story short I ended up doing tx for 3 years but it was well worth it.. I wish you a lifetime of health and happines. Bette