Finished One Year Ago
I finished treatment one year ago yesterday. A recent email from someone led me to think about how much things have changed for me over that year. And the email asked me if I would do treatment all over again if I had to. This has really led me to evaluate my experiences - the costs and benefits.
This time last year I was dragging myself around feeling extremely weak and tired. I would often spend time just sitting, watching, sleeping and forgetting. That’s all I could really manage. I felt like I was 80 years old.
Reading my blog entries for the end of treatment, however, I am struck how positive and upbeat I sounded considering how limited I felt inside. I think I really had become used to life inside that “treatment bubble” – accepting of the limitations that the medications brought to my life and accepting that it was my time to focus on just myself getting well again. I had really embraced the experience and kept myself open to it.
Looking back on treatment – it really was a unique and special experience, a year like no other in my life. I don’t think I have ever spent a whole year being so single-mindedly focused on achieving something. I was 100% committed mind, body and spirit – to completing treatment and eradicating that virus. That was my life’s work and underpinned everything I did.
I learned to look after and care for myself, giving myself permission to put me first. Paradoxically, that meant allowing Carol to look after me alot more and do things for me.
I only ate the food that was the easiest for my liver to metabolise, drank loads of water (no fizzy drinks, alcohol) and green tea to flush my system and detox my liver,
I only did only stress free work part-time, didn’t worry about or try to cope with stressful situations – became quite good at letting go (via a good primal scream) of the riba-raging caused by the meds. Let myself be incredibly emotional and sentimental when I wanted to be – wept unpredictably over everyday life. I learned to say ‘fuck-off’ whenever I felt like it.
I learned meditation, received reiki empowerments, learned to look at and understand me from the inside, recognising and understanding myself all over – not just from the neck up, the inside of my head. I let my spirit develop.
Over the passage of the last year, I have held onto some of these habits practises and behaviours – some I have now let go. And, today, I feel fit and well. Strong and healthy. I have stopped being a patient, an ill person. My last LFT’s were all in normal range. It has almost been two years since I hosted that virus (my 12 week PCR was negative).
What after-effects do I notice from the treatment? My eyesight has got worse – I now need stronger lens for reading and (for the first time ever) to see long distances. My gums have suffered and are deteriorating. And I still struggle with remembering things. (Also I’m not convinced my hair, which went thin during treatment, has ever thickened up again)
All of these issues come with age – and as I am now 60, growing old becomes a reality. However I am convinced these things are more pronounced than they would have been if I hadn’t lived with the strong medications I had for a year. I do feel the treatment has aged me faster than the ordinary passage of time.
As my dentist said to me reassuringly – well at least you’ve got your health. And, as I said in reply, I don’t see why I can’t have my health – and my gums, my eyesight and my memory too. However, broadly speaking, he is right.
So if getting older and the gums, eyesight and memory have been the costs of the treatment, has there been a benefit?
Yes, and it’s not just clearing the virus. Of course that’s been the main benefit but there are others. I have really grown as a person through the toughness of that year and I have found a spiritual side to myself I hadn’t been in touch with before.
Would I do the treatment again if I had to? I know another year of treatment would not be the same as the one I have already done. One can’t have the same experience twice – nothing is ever the same again. I would do another course of treatment though. I think the benefits to be gained – mentally and spiritually as well as physically, make it worth the cost of the struggle and commitment. Just the possibility also of crossing that border away from being an ill person and into the territory of wellness would inspire and tempt me to doing it all again.
October 12th, 2006 at 3:46 am
Dear Ron,
I know the choice to undego treatment is a very personal one. I am delighted to hear you are doing so well even though I myself have chosen a different route. See, http://regentlynx.blogspot.com/2006/10/is-no-treatment-better-than-treatment.html
for my current reflections on the matter.
Any way, wishing you all the best and continued good health!!!
October 12th, 2006 at 11:52 am
Hey there Ron.
Firstly congratulationson clearing the virus. I was diagnosed nearly 2 years ago, and haven’t really done anything about it. Still drinking but not to heavily, but still doing it. Need to take a page from your book and change my lifestyle.
Hope you’re well when you read this!
Jess
October 17th, 2006 at 2:28 am
Hi Ron. Thanks for leaving footprint in my blog. I might get Bell’s Palsy, cause I have facial nerve inflamation extending to back via my head for about 10 years.
I can’t complain about my TX, I’m doing much better then others, it’s I just get sick of it and childish sometimes. Tomorrow I’ll know 12wk’s result. Fingers crossed
October 17th, 2006 at 3:12 am
I have “Llama Lashes” in my PC, will try to figure out where to put it so link can work all the time
October 18th, 2006 at 2:06 pm
Ron -
Glad to read you’re doing so well a year after treatment! You really don’t say much about yourself on the forum.
I’m flattered that you’ve made my blog a link on yours. I’m going to try to add links to my blog this week - your blog will be #1 on my list!
uncertain
…and severely computer challenged - I’m the one who can’t even do quotes on the forum!
October 24th, 2006 at 4:15 am
Hello..I have enjoyed reading your journal. I recently lost a very special nephew to Hep-C. He had just turned 45. He too went through treatment with Intron-A/Pegasyss. Unfortunately for us, it was too late. He had no medical insurance, and refused to stop working and take care of himself. We are not sure how he contracted the virus, but we think maybe some jail house tattoos when he was younger. (Sharing needles with cell mates.)
That doesn’t matter much now. He left a huge hole in our hearts with his passing. I wonder if young people who still put tattoos on each other, have any idea of the risks they run? Dying from Hep-C that has advanced to Chirrosis, and liver cancer, is not pretty. Perhaps someone should let the public at large know how devastating this disease can be? Nearly everyone knows SOMEONE who has a friend or relative with Hep-C. I could tell you horrible stories of emergency rooms that treated him like a piece of garbage, and this was WITH INSURANCE. It was assumed that he was just a drunk or a junky who”did this to himself.” As far a a liver transplant, you can forget it! Hep-C patients end up at the bottom of the list. Transplants are for those who have “other” diseases of the liver. I did not mean to sound off at you. Lord knows you have your own problems. I guess I am just feeling angry. Because I cannot except that my beloved nephew could not have been saved..God bless you, Linda
January 6th, 2007 at 5:48 pm
Hi Ron,
I got to your Forum by reading your original blogs, didn’t know many blogs existed and never knew of the Forum either. Makes me thankful for the great Google. Great to see that one year on you’re a lot stronger. It’s interesting to me as spiritual person to see how many people come out the other side a greater spiritual being. Perhaps a reminder of our own mortality isn’t such a bad thing ?- Wish it was a more gentle reminder though!
Big respect
Lau
March 20th, 2007 at 6:25 am
Hello:
My ex-husband is suffering from an inflamed liver, so the doctors told him. Why couldn’t they just say he had hepatitis or chirrosis of the liver? He doesn’t know what to do and he feels so sick all the time.
He is diabetic and before that he drank a lot. He had pancreatic cysts and got an operation to drain the liquid that formed behind the pancreas. He was in the hospital for almost 3 weeks and is now feeling so sick all the time and he suffers with a lot of pain. He wants to keep moving as when he sits at home, all he can think of is his pain and disease.
The reason why I am writing is I am hoping to find out where to look to get him treatment, for a start. He will probably end up going to Edmonton for treatment. At least I hope he does.
I was wondering how you are doing now? His eye sight is going too and he is going to be 63 years old.
All my best to you.
Bev
March 24th, 2007 at 2:15 am
helloo. iam very happy that ur feeling better now.. my mother has hepatits C and A i took her to the doctor nad the doctor said that its not risky for her but i still want to know that what types of food shuld i give her to keep her liver healthy? and i also want to know about to stay healthy…. all my best to you from bahar.
May 5th, 2008 at 4:51 pm
hi mr ron i am glad you are doing fine stories like your realy inspire guys like my self i got to tell you i stared treatmen 7 months ago and 3 months later everythink came out negative i am still taken my shot every week and my pills every day and i hope that my lord wont let this virus show up in my life again tomorow i got to go to my doc and hope he tell me to stop medicine by the way when i came out hcv negative i head results of -20 hcv test i wish you the best end God will blessed you all time bye
May 11th, 2008 at 8:59 am
Hi Luichi
Congratulations on your good news. I too hope your doctor decides you can stop with the medication soon - adn that you remain virus-free.
Wishing you well
Ron